Be clear and ask for clarity!

photo-1428189923803-e9801d464d76Be clear and ask for clarity! … about yourself, about others, about what you want, about what you do, about what can you deliver.

-I think you understood what I mean?!

-Actually, I do not understand! I want you to be more specific!

-Well, you will figure it out one day…

-No, I will not figure it out, and I will not wait! I want you to be clear now about this and don’t make me lose more time. (Kindly way saying).

Some people think that are clear being confused and having some expectations.

We love to create stories about how people will react, what they will do, how situation will change if … only if … and then nothing appears if we are not clear.

Getting clear will make us less confused. We all have our beliefs, and we cannot rely on others. We keep our mind confused when we don’t talk about our beliefs, and we think too much about what other’s opinions.

Question: What have in common the situations where you decide to stay confused and not to be clear?

Right now, I am thinking about a love story, when a man and a woman don’t talk about their feelings.

”one of them is afraid to ask something that involves a commitment, in the same time having expectations that the partner will know those wishes. The other one is not clear about the relationship either, about the desire of getting involved: My partner understood that I don’t want something serious, should I talk about this? No, I will not; I am not feeling comfortable thinking about this, if my partner has other’s expectations, I will not be able to say what I think, actually!”

Sometimes you just don’t know where to start because you are confused!

Question: Do you find yourself in the situation where you find it more difficult to talk about your feelings, and you choose the easy way, to talk about the things that are less interesting for you?

Of course, we are all doing that at a moment in our life! Being clear involves emotions, being emotional literate makes you more powerful.

Question: What do you expect to get when you don’t make yourself clear about what you want? There are some benefits you took from this.

Sooner you take the decision to be clear, earlier you will earn more time to enjoy the things that you asked for; you would enjoy the situation as you want. Here I am referring to receive permission and approve.

On the other hand, when someone gets the ’’No’’, it should be glad because that person will have the opportunity to direct one’s energies through something that will be worth.

The ’’No’’ is what keeps people afraid about making things clear. This is one of the reasons for which we remain unclear in relationships, at work, at home, in relation with our life partner, friends, family and in some situations.

Life did not prepare much people who can accept ’’No’’, and when the ’’No’’ arrives at some people may feel betrayed. On the other hand, some people cannot refuse something they are asked to do, even if it’s not a pleasure – but you see I have to do this because I cannot say no!

If we refuse people in a nice and natural way, no one is offended. We can be clear about what we want and what we don’t want, and let those around us knowing what we want and what are our expectations.

Take your time and think what piece of your autonomy could be missing when you cannot resist to take and give a NO as an answer.

It’s not good or bad being confused, but sometimes it just makes you feel uncomfortable being confused.

It’s not good or bad being clear, but being clear can help you in your life’s decisions. It’s human to be confused; it’s in all of us; the good part is that we don’t have to make a way of living, and we can learn how to be clearer.

Start getting clear by asking what you want (with yes and no), offering what you can and what you want, receiving, and if there is something left, see if you can do it for yourself.

Start saying what you want, is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Start being clear with yourself!

When you decide to do something, then you will receive offers from everywhere. From the moment, you decide to be clear, you will receive clarity in your life.

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12 thoughts on “Be clear and ask for clarity!

  1. It is actually a compliment, I have found, to ask someone for clarity. That show you are taking their position/opinion/request seriously. And the request is best made AT THE VERY INSTANT the request/opinion is stated! And think how how later trouble is saved because the potential for misunderstanding was avoided at the outset! Thank you for this timely reminder!
    P.S. Daniela: Thank you so much for starting to follow my own blog! I believe you may enjoy some of the upcoming posts this week about unexpected critters traveling to Bethlehem!

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    1. Yes, I agree with you ”the potential for misunderstanding is avoided”!
      And our thoughts live in peace!
      Thank you also for following my blog. I find your blog very interesting!
      All the best!

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    1. Yes, and we must always remember who we are, what we want and how to put it out there to some one to understand what we mean, as you said!
      You remind me of something, about what my therapist long time ago said to me. She told me to repeat some words always, to get more clear:
      ‘’Am a grown woman and I decided to express myself and to preserve my reasoned opinion,in my behalf, so that I feel good and actually to care about people around me!’’ – I love this. Hope you like it!

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  2. Wow, this is a great article. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. Sometimes communicating with a partner/loved one in particular is much more difficult than communicating with someone you’re not as close with. Thanks for the tips on “getting clear.” Great stuff!!

    Bree

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    1. Hey Sherline. Incredible, I just saw your comment. I feel honored, very actually. You are the first person who inspired me on this blog and I admire you a lot!
      All the best Sherline and thank you!

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  3. Postam anuntul dvs in peste 365 de siteuri de anunturi din Romania impreuna cu o poza si adresa siteului dvs. (in siteurile ce permit acest lucru) crescand astfel numarul celor care vad anuntul dvs cu cateva sute de mii de persoane zilnic. Noi facem aceasta munca in locul dvs. Anuntul va fi indexat de Google rapid (cateva zile) si va fi afisat in primele pagini.

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    1. Thank you for your appreciation.
      I believe the motive we write about this subject matter is because we lost our clarity, simplicity and intelligibility on the way. When we were children we were very clear about what we want. We were all lied to as kids, and some of the lies we were told still affect us. In time we learn how to fake, how not to ask, how to pretend something else and more.

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