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The thing you hear can make you click

Ready to listen, to pay attention and to hear?
You know,  people don’t hear until they want to hear, and until they are ready to hear.

One day, probably a friend told you something important for you that makes you click, and you said:

- Thank you for telling me this. It is a big change for me. If you told me in advance, maybe now I was far away.
- Welcome, and is not the first time I am telling you; (friend response)
- Really, because it is for the first time I am hearing?! Now it makes sense for me.
- Maybe you needed to hear at this moment in your life, and now you were open to hear and to make a change.

Sometimes we must pay more attention at what other are saying to us. We have to listen – for real!
Most of the time people don’t listen to those who talk, their minds being too busy for paying attention.

If you are doing that, then you should Stop. Give attention because you will be needed to. When you pay attention you receive attention back.
Where this ”busy to listen” came from? Well, this came from the beliefs that the person who talk is there to listen because is more important what you have to say; and guess what, the other person may have the same idea.
So if two people are at a coffee to be listen, then who is listened? I guess each person is listening to her own words, because the other one is too busy with her/his on thoughts.
Pay attention, because we are the same but individuals, and we are acting in different ways, what others want to say to us can and most of the time makes us click.
Sometimes listening others you are listening to yourself.

Daniela

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Watch what you watch

Watch what you watch.

…

The man who trained his mind to be distrustful

I spoke with a person (yes, he gave me permission to refer to his situation) that constantly tormented himself with the thought that his significant other was cheating on him.

His favorite TV show? Cheaters.

…

Whatever comes out of you is what you put there. 

 

by T.K. Coleman 

Unconditional love for yourself! Questions

When people do not accept a precise behavior, feeling, perception, function, emotion, etc. at themselves, the tendency is to force themselves into a change, and not accepting the way they are. 
What that it is happening afterwards? Well, then the specific behavior is getting stronger, and the change is not happening.
However, whenever people start to accept themselves as they are and after that they come up with the change, things are getting better.

So, my questions are:

  • Are you often angry with you? Are you listening to yourself?
  • Do you accept everything that is you, what represent you?
  • Do you accept and acknowledge everything comes within your behavior?
  • Are you aware about your imperfections and weaknesses?
  • Are you accepting mistakes and choices you’ve made?
  • When you what to change something at you, do you accept what you want to change and later come with the changing? Or, do you denied that thing you don’t like about you, and force yourself to replace and integrate a new concept or notion?
  • Are you forcing yourself into an unpleasant situation or to adopt another behavior?
  • Are you blaming for your way of acting/reacting, or are you telling yourself ”that it is ok and you will do better next time”?
  • Do you blame yourself for everything that goes wrong?
  • When you think, you did something wrong, in what way do you talk with yourself?
  • Do you think you have unconditional love for yourself?

    “You can’t give love to someone else without knowing how to give yourself love first.” Tristan Loo

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Minimizing, cutting and exaggeration.

Minimizing, cutting and exaggeration tell us a lot of things about a person.
When someone wants to influence you, then can minimize or exaggerate actions, emotions, attitudes, situations.
Minimize and exaggeration has an important place in current speaking, because people are trying to get into conversation’s oratorical tone, and perhaps theatricality attitude.
What minimization has to do with modesty?
Personal achievements and accomplishments of others are minimized by those who support modesty. People tend to minimize also personal achievements. Minimizing occurrences makes the situation seem less important than reality.

Minimization theory states that allows people to pretend that things are less important than they are, which in turn allows them to deny what they actually believe about themselves or about others.
If someone has the intention of how not to be understood by another person, then will use minimization or will cut the word. Reduction of words that people often use to minimize unethical behavior are: sort of, barely, no big deal, not more than, only a little, all I did was, kind of, once, just, merely.

Let’s see Eric Berne and Alfred Adler‘s clarification.

Eric Berne in Transactional analysis is talking about discounting.
Transactional analysis explored the role played by discounting in maintaining dependency relationships: the discounting of the child by the parent figure, initially by the real parent and later by the child’s internalized parent. When one-person discounts another, he acts as if what he feels is more important than what the other person feels, says or does. What came to be called ‘the “hierarchy of discounts” existence, significance, change possibilities and personal activities were evolved, the highest automatically including those below: a discount of the existence of problems is equivalent to discounting the significance.

In a rather different method, Alfred Adler spoke of his therapeutic technique of ‘minimizing the significance of the symptoms; you must strive to debase the great significance which the neurotic attributes to his symptoms.

Here we can talk about The Pollyanna principle. According to the Pollyanna Principle, the brain processes information that is pleasing and agreeable in a more precise and exact manner as compared to unpleasant information; still for this article is enough.

However, exaggeration, regarding health people tend to hyperbolize a little more. They are trying to get more attention, empathy and affection. Upcoming exaggeration is aggression, suggesting, overvaluing, overacting and other intentions.

People love tragedy, theatricality attitude, and they love to attach more expressionism to actions.
Exaggeration, also is a form of manipulation, like a cognitive distortion when we overestimate a situation, event, natural disaster, emotion.

My questions are:

What is the indented behind minimizing or exaggerating?
What do we aspect when we minimize or exaggerate?
What is the reaction or feedback, we what?

As we age we learn that exaggeration and minimization can be used as rhetorical tools, allowing us to exploit our creative skills to emphasize the mask or what we say.
’’The Book of Tells – Body Talk’’ Peter Collett.

A bit of inspiration taken from Wikipedia, Peter Collet and Daniela Damian.

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Is your message too obvious?

Is your message too obvious?

People aren’t just looking for content. They’re searching for a connection. Words don’t provide that connection; the people behind the words do.

One million people may have already given expression to the convictions and concepts you feel passionate about.

Nevertheless, someone is going to perk up, listen, and allow themselves to be impacted when you chime in JUST BECAUSE IT’S COMING FROM YOU.

Someone needs to hear or see YOUR story.

Don’t deprive our collective evolution of your individual contribution by deciding what’s too obvious for someone else.

T.K. Coleman

Jealousy devastates most of the charming and delightful from!

This issue is a draft that I saved for a long time. I wrote the subject in my mind, I looked, I saw, I experienced and now I write.

 As humans, we start to experience jealousy since we were kids; we were jealous on our parents. When those children grew up, they began to be envious of their friends and later the jealousy concentrated most of the time on life partner. From my point of view, jealousy is an expressing emotion fear. Tru jealousy people think they show affection, and at a conscious level people believe they can control others, when actually, people try to control they on behavior.

 Yes, I am talking about a lot of confusion. Jealousy means also possession and proprietorial. People have this sense of ownership and

possessive. It gets worst when people try to protect what they assume a title holder for.

When people fall in love, they tell that they love the other person for what that person is. Well, in most of the cases, control makes his

appearance. Furthermore, I see jealousy like an alarm. In a love relationship, when one partner is jealous on the other partner, the person who expresses jealousy is the most vulnerable person in the relationship. For example, if we talk about cheating, a person who is expressing jealousy has a priority in cheating. Actuality, what I want to say is that this person is trying to protect herself for cheating.

Now let’s, take a view at what jealous means and conjugate.

Meanings: envious, desirous, resentful, grudging, green-eyed, suspicious, distrustful, mistrustful, doubting, insecure, anxious, possessive, proprietorial, protective, wary, watchful, solicitous, mindful.

Now, try to conjugate: I am (every word)…


Well, Jealousy is destructive, not constructive. You share beautiful things with your partner and not worries.

Jealousy devastates most of the charming and delightful, and keeps your locked somewhere afraid and insecure.
Here I have some quotes about this thing called jealousy.

“A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it.”
― Lionel Shriver, Checker and the Derailleurs

“The more you love,the more love you have to give.It’s the only feeling we have which is infinite…”
― Christina Westover, Precipice

“What sort of love is permeated by jealousy? You are jealous because you are unaware that everything you need is inside you.”
― Peter Deunov

“People want you to be happy. Don’t keep serving them your pain! If you could untie your wings and free your soul of jealousy, you and everyone around you would fly up like doves.”
― Rumi

“Jealousy is such an ugly emotion.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

“Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.”
― Erica Jong

“Jealousy’s a weak emotion.”
― Jay-Z

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”
― Bette Midler 

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Wearing eyeglasses has any physiological significance?

Yes.

 
Looking through my old book, I found this interesting topic regarding vision and eyeglasses wearing. What I found, and now I know, is that wearing eyeglasses represent something that people do not what to see or to look at, in they personal life. Well, clarify things into your life and find strength to see things as they are, can help improve vision, even quitting eyeglasses.

I hope I raised some questions.